May 2000
Dear Brother Knights,
Has anything ever taken your faith and shaken it like a wet rag? It can
leave you with the feeling that you’re either very foolish or just
really wrong. In my case it’s often both. I’ve been attempting
to undertake several different new duties in my life. Not the least of
which is the effort to reconstruct the Colombian Squires circle in Leduc.
This is rapidly proving to be a much more involved task than I originally
gave it credit for. I’ve had a few offers of help with this from
different Knights, and I will call on those favors in due time. However,
I’ve had my eye on a specific member of our parish to help me with
this.
I have seen and learned enough of this man that I can see that his aid
with the youth would be a valuable resource. He is very motivated, directed,
dedicated, and has been described as someone who strives to always do
the right thing. These are qualities that I really think would be great
to have when dealing with youth and he could lead by the mere example
of his convictions. He also happens to not be a Knight. It’s a perfect
double-whammy. Not only could I get him to sign up for the Knights, but
I could capitalize on his help in the Squires. This puzzle piece is an
exact fit, and I believe that God has cleared the path for me to go his
direction.
I have in fact, already approached him with my plans and the reasons I
would like to acquire his assistance. He just smiled and listened to me
while I laid it all out for him before a mass, with his family waiting
patiently for him in their seats.
I will now interrupt this warm fuzzy picture I’m painting to inject
a bit of common sense. Now logic would indicate that a man of his devotion
and predilection would either already be a Knight, or alternately he would
have some kind of reason not to be. This is a thought that had crossed
my mind earlier, but moved right on by, and exited stage left. So I continued
on with my preparations for my portion of “Gods” work. Or
so I thought.
When I had finished giving him my speech, he continued to smile at me,
and for the first time, I felt the slightest twinge of a feeling I can
only describe as the what-the-heck-were-you-thinking sweat. He looked
at me and gently, politely, and humbly informed me that he wasn’t
interested in the Knights of Columbus at all, as he was steering his life
in the direction of another, very admirable order of the church, and was
in fact quite dedicated to it. My confidence had now fallen into my stomach
and was now churning around. He thanked me for my offer and I believe
that I in turn, ran away as fast as I could. Not one of the more refined
moments in my short history.
As I took my seat for the mass, my confusion quickly swallowed me whole.
I couldn’t understand how I could have been so mistaken. Didn’t
God lay this all out for me and then proceed to shove me in that direction?
Wasn’t this supposed to be a slam dunk? What did I do wrong? During
the mass, I thought it over, and prayed about it. It is easy to be humble
when you’ve just stepped in it, and now I tried to listen more than
talk. Unfortunately I should have been listening to Father Rich, but I
did manage to get some new found direction. There were also a few lessons
to be had here. So far I’ve learned these as a result:
n It seems that my vision of what would be, was exactly that. Just mine.
I have to be careful to not let my own voice drown out the one that is
in charge.
n I must understand that everyone has their own path to travel, and only
by the grace of His will, do they ever even cross mine. Helping others
onto the path I walk is one thing, dragging them onto it and having them
chauffeur me in a golf cart is just a bit off base.
n There are things to do within the church other than become a Knight,
and as that has been my personal choice, it would be a misdirection of
faith to attempt to lead any portion of the youth and not help to open
the various doors to any of them.
n lastly and most modestly, I have much to learn about if I am to help
lead any of the youth in their faith.
The real point that I’m trying to get across is this. I lived under
the perception that my faith should be like the bundle of sticks. Strong
and difficult to break. But when I really examine it, being a wet cloth
isn’t the disgrace it seems to be. A wet cloth is a tool we use
to help us wipe things clean. They are tough to actually break, but sometimes
they need a good rinsing because they tend to collect mud. If you don’t
rinse it out to cleanse it, it will begin to start spreading the mud around.
My faith is a wet rag and God needed to give it a good rinsing. I wasn’t
wrong at all about the man I spoke to. I was just wrong about what I was
looking for because I had filled my head with self serving design.
What is it that leads us to start calling the shots when we don’t
even have the puck? I couldn’t really say, but I’m sure that
when we need it, he will give us a good ringing out. As traumatic as it
can be, it will make us better if we allow ourselves to see it the right
way.
Viva Jesus
Chris Carr